The first two times I tried college, I didn’t finish. There was never enough time to care for my young son, work a full-time job and do my schoolwork. And there was never enough money to pay rent, tuition and child care.
On my third try, everything clicked. This time I was more motivated than ever before — to prove that I could do it, to prove the doubters wrong.
The first leg of my college journey came to a close this spring, after five grueling years, when I earned my associate degree in criminal justice from Howard Community College — a school that supports student parents like myself.
I now consider myself proof that motivated and supported student parents can beat the odds and earn a college degree, even though the deck is stacked against us.
One of every five college undergraduates in this country is caring for a dependent child. Student parents are usually women, at least 30 years old, raising children on their own. A third are Black, and a fifth are Latino. In addition, the largest share of student parents attend community colleges. There used to be a lot more of us, but a strong job market and the rising cost of tuition, housing and child care needs meant that many had to put their college dreams on hold.
The financial and time pressures on student learners are immense. Fewer than 40 percent of student parents earn their degrees within six years.
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After I graduated from high school in 2019, I thought my road to a college degree would be relatively straightforward. I enrolled that fall but quit soon after I got pregnant. I returned to college in the fall of 2020, but caring for a newborn and trying to navigate online classes during the pandemic was simply too much.
The college experience on offer did not match my reality of being a student and a parent. I had dropped out of school once already. It was much too easy to do it again.
Leaving college for a second time shattered my confidence and my belief in myself.
I was raised by a single mom who didn’t go to college. I saw how hard she worked at a low-paying job and how much she struggled but could never get ahead.
I wanted to break that cycle. I was determined to provide a better life for me and especially for my son. I wanted to make sure he had everything he needed to grow up strong, healthy and smart.
I was going to be the one who made it — the one who was able to look back and say to all who had doubted me that I had done this for me and my little boy.
In the fall of 2022, I tried again, this time at Howard Community College (HCC). The experience turned out to be completely different because HCC acknowledges and values parents like me and had assembled a plan and a program to support us.
HCC offered me enough scholarships and financial aid to cover my tuition and fees for two years. They even gave me an emergency grant when I had trouble making rent one time. They arranged a flexible schedule that let me take all but one of my classes online at night after I was done with my job and had put my son to bed. At my previous college, I’d had to drop in-person courses when I couldn’t find child care at night.
Howard also had a Career Links program designed specifically for single parents. It provided one-on-one academic and career counseling that helped me select my major, kept me on track to graduate and gave me the guidance I needed to figure out my future.
This tremendous amount of support made a huge difference. I renewed my faith in myself. Last fall, I made the dean’s list. This spring, I received my degree.
Related: How parents of young kids make it through college
Today, I have big plans for my future. I’m still working full-time, but this summer I started university classes so I can earn my bachelor’s degree. My son, who turned four this spring, is getting ready to start preschool this fall.
After I earn my four-year degree, I’d like one day to start a nonprofit that encourages other student parents, specifically single parents and children with an incarcerated parent. My son’s father has been incarcerated for the majority of my child’s life, and I want to provide comprehensive support and resources to help single parents like me overcome similar barriers.
Parents like us need all the help we can get, and I want to provide the assistance that I was lacking for so long.
College is difficult enough without adding a child and a full-time job to the mix. But when colleges can remove some of the financial, scheduling and other barriers that make it so much more arduous for student parents to finish their degrees, they demonstrate their support for their current students — and for the next generation to come.
Abby Bediako graduated from Howard Community College in 2024 and is currently attending the University of Maryland Global Campus. Abby is featured in Raising Up, a documentary film series aimed at elevating the lived experiences of student parents in higher education.
This story about student parents was produced by The Hechinger Report, a nonprofit, independent news organization focused on inequality and innovation in education. Sign up for our higher education newsletter. Listen to our higher education podcast.